stuck in the middle of an oreo

as i look at this oreo i realize that i have so much in common with it.
the first half of the oreo was the first year in college and the other chocolate cookie side is the rest of college.
and right now im just stuck in between both segments.
blah....white "blah"-ness.


and there is just so much else.

I wish my dad would talk to me on the phone for more than just 3 minutes a month.
He says he misses me but it just doesnt seem like it.

and

its so hard to be patient.
with people...
with God....
with men...
in walmart...
at work....
with men...
...and walmart.


and I wish my step dad was still here. Im so lost as to what i need to do for school and what paperwork I need and how to handle financial aid and how to even mow the lawn and just a crap-ton of other stuff that i have no idea how to do.

its just harder this way.

this blog is nice to write too. it helps me vent but its not like anyone really cares or is reading what i have to write anyways so...

it seems pretty damn pointless if ya ask me. :/

transitions

YWAM emailed me back and let me know that I was accepted to their program. But After much deliberation decided that it was not the proper time to go. My mom needs me and I wouldnt be able to leave her alone all winter,

I couldnt do that to her.

I have a new job. HALLELUJAH! Lord know I need the funds.

I want to be financially self sufficient and pay off debts.

Everyone is leaving to go back to school. Some I will miss. some I wont. Some I will cry over irrationally. But this time apart will be good. very good...I hope.

Its all in Gods hands.