Making the most of it

so in this time before i head off to school and being unemployed i get so sort through all the "stuff" piling up in my head, room, and life.

In my head: for instance, I made to-do lists today! Movies I want to see, books i want to read, and things i need to get. It actually had a lot of mental relief and that's always a good thing :)

In my room: Get rid of all the high school crap! and all the little giz-mos and hoo-has that i just don't need and haven't even looked at in years. as well as letters and pictures with people i no longer talk to. lots of space now...for all my other crap.

In my life: i'm definitely finding out who my true friends are. And im "weeding" the negative people out of my life. It is getting hard because some of them i grew close to and have come to realize they can't be trusted and its a rocky road to tread, but a necessary road to go down.


and one thing that i want to make the most of with my time is weight-loss.
Before i go off to school in 2 months, i want to look, feel and BE healthy!
it will just be a good way of starting over. Tomorrow is October 1st and my 1st official day of diet and exercise! so wish me luck!

ill write more later.

COLLEGE BOUND!!...again.

Well I'm not leaving yet, But it is official:

I have been accepted to the University of North Dakota, home of the Fighting Sioux! :) and I'm so excited to finally have direction.

Last weekend I went back to Oak Hills for "Soul Cleanup" which is a day help each semester where classes are canceled and instead there are speakers, praise and worship and everyone prepares the campus for winter. I have a marvelous time and after the lovely nostalgic weekend, I considered going back next semester to OHCC.

But after realizing that I shouldn't make such and important decision that fast and based on a magical couple of days.
And as soon as I got home, I found that I had received my acceptance letter, while I had been gone.
That was good enough for me. I'm going to UND! :)
I already met the lovely girl I will eventually call my roommate, Laura. Im very excited to see what God makes of that relationship.

I've sworn off men for a while. This is the time to focus on me and i don't need any distractions or anyone holding me back or tying me down.

Im ready for this.
Im ready for the future.
Im ready for the next phase.
Im ready for change.

What does God want?

What does God want? I haven't asked myself that in so long.

probably because when i used to ask that all the time, I never seemed to get an answer. So eventually i stopped asking. So ever since i've just been doing what makes sense to me.

but I'm just more confused than ever.
so im ready to stop and ask again.
i just need to find my quiet place.

the C word

ahh yes. the "c" word.
college.
I got back on Sunday from my weekend at UND(north dakota). I went to sort out problems they were having with my paper work and had a tour of campus and stayed with a good friend who attends there. Between the tour and what shes shown me of the college, im blown away, i love it so much and cant wait to get back to school and be productive! i do have some worries however.
I do NOT want to get involved with someone. They will only destract me from my studies and focusing on God.
secondly, I want the right friends. Christian students or mentors to encourage me in my faith walk and hold me accountable.
and last, i want a job part time so i may also make money and not just be spending it constantly and building up my student loans. God please help me with my students loans!

but overall i am very excited for this next phase in my life and i pray that it brings about good things and positive experiences.

hope to write more soon.

and in addition!

may I add that I won that scrabble match mentioned earlier :)

but anyways, God has been GREAT. I have a new job, one with exceptionally pay and 40/hrs a week. He is so good. I know He is in control but i cant help throwing hissy fits sometimes and acting like i have it all together when i just don't.

November is coming up and Im dreading what emotions the anniversary of my dad's passing will bring up. for everyone. Its so hard to believe its been one year already. Its been a HARD and GRUELING one but the whole idea of him really being gone is still alien to me. I know i'll see him again one day, but for now all I have is that hope.

My broth Justin is now officially moved in with us so that is good. great actually. Now I dont have to worry about my mom during the winter and trying to drive back every weekend from college to check on her. I i dont have to worry about shoveling the snow for her, or making sure she has enough fire wood. I finally have help and that is so comforting to me...

Ill write more soon!

Digital Detox

Last night i decided to delete my Facebook. FINALLY! It was probably one of the smarter things I've ever done. Facebook has taken over peoples lives and i refuse to be addicted to it. It was hard for me even to delete it. and that is bad. and secondly, no family should spend more time in separate rooms, on separate computers then they do actually together. which is why tonight i told my mom and brother we needed to play a game of scrabble, have quality family time. Which worked for a while... until the game was over. now guess where everyone is? in separate rooms. on separate computers. what has the modern day family become?